Don’t tell me what to eat

Bored of feeling out of it now, struggling to type on my keyboard, with the words in my head “sugar feeds cancer” and all i want to eat sugary snacks and treats, I could live off them.  I’m literally on my third cake today, i can’t f**king stop! I hoping it’ll take the fog away, the Battenberg I’ve snorted up has given me 3 mins of happiness at least, i really need to do the raw diet again to help myself, but i’m just wanting comforts all the time, been at home all day by yourself everyday sort of makes you a cupboard gremlin! And don’t even ask how many cans of coke I’ve been drinking, I am out of control, I’m actually putting weight on rather than losing it! What is going on! I’m outta control feeding my cancer sugar, that it I’ve convinced myself I have to stop now!!! I start with the raw diet who wants to do it with me?? Please help me and do it to I’m weak!! I think it would do me a world of good to have a clear out, I’ve had my lows now and cried until i can’t cry anymore, it’s time to fight back, so i’ll be starting right now! Good job i have lots of fruit in and bare water.💙

I’ve gone a bought some leather gloves to see if they help with the typing and surprising it does give me a bit of control, just need to sort this fog in my head and eyes, that i can’t seem to get rid of , I could fall asleep any min, it makes me feel so unsafe in a way!

But definitely get yourself a pair of leather gloves to go out in, it helps neuropathy a lot also stops the pain and make me able to use them a bit more.

Oh my sickness has hit me hard today and im taking everything ive got, please  work and go away for a couple of hours as i have a party to go to, i just want to have fun like a normal person! 

I have myself already a new dress my wig on makeup done, eyelashes stuck everything i just want to go do what I want without the plague taking over and the plague makes me feel likei have to paint a red cross on my door! as i’m not allowed near people!!! So let’s just sip a cuppa and lie down and see if it blows over (fingers crossed) and hopefully someone won’t tell me what to eat to help this chemo sickness!!! 

Yes the sickness has passed but came with a vengeance at the party, woohoo i managed to sit there for a whole hour before the plague got me, bye bye off you fuck to bed! Chemo seriously sucks but i would never turn it down! only 4 more to go and hopefully my cancer would have shrunk! (fingers and toes crossed) i used getting used to be the sick person and everyone tip toeing around me, i don’t mind makes everyone more polite! 

I had a lovely day when I woke up and guess what I did with my family I baked lots of cakes it was fantastic and tasted like heaven! Highly recommended just need to lose a bit of weight before i get married though haha (good luck) 

So eat what you want as long as it tastes good 

Lots of love 

Max and the Unknown 

XoX

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