How hard my mental health gets.

Not going to lie I’m finding it hard these last few days been waking up crying at about 1:30am. Looking at my beautiful man. Missing him already. How can I miss someone so badly been right next to them.

Myself and my man mike

It’s so hard to let somebody go one day that you love so so much, we were supposed to be together till the end! I imagined our hair going white together and living in a house with land in wales together. But we will maybe in our next life together as I don’t think I could ever go through any kind of life with out you. 💙

I find it all so hard looking at my beautiful children I just want to be there for them and help them when they need me. Just to hold them even when there older children always need their mums. I wish I just get them through high school this is my aim I am fighting so hard for. I just want to hear them come through the door after school and I have there tea ready for them. And we can talk about their days. Best think I did was have two near the same age. I always think it’s the best thing I have ever done. They will always have each other. 💙

Mummy will love you forever

I just struggle expressing my self but this is all I think of! Nothing else. It consuming and hard work. It gives me strong migraines and disables me. I can’t move out my bed. I’m so heavily weighed down by emotion! I can feel so alone. But my head never ever stops. So many thoughts and feeling I can’t escape! Trapped in cancer and it’s awful curveballs. I can cope with pain just not the emotional pain. I seem to look strong but some days I’m really not. I’m totally broken. But I’ve got to keep smiling some days are magical and good and I forget what’s happening and I’ll be normal max who is just a mum, a daughter and a fiancé 💙🦋 health is everything.

Keep it real

Keep expressing your self.

Don’t forget to breath.

Keep healthy with everything you can. Make good life choices. Physically and mentally.

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